How's Your Face?

T-First Round Draft Pick's Ambien & Lime Ginger Beer
Oct 17
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Banks are Idiots

So, hey, just got a letter from Citibank saying that they’ve decided to change my credit card APR to 29.99% in order to “continue to provide our customers access to credit”. Way to fuck the economy, dudes. The government gave you money so YOU CAN LOAN IT TO CONSUMERS TO BUY SHIT. And it is really, really good business practice to fuck the people who (a)still have jobs (b) are most likely to continue to borrow money.

Seriously, this is fucked. I have not missed payments or otherwise defaulted and my rate is being raised over 50%.

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Yes, so the good ship Galleon, the hedge fund firm whose founder/portfolio manager Raj Rajaratnam was busted for insider trading this week, paid for this “rap” about their firm at some point in the past, and it is exactly as awesome as you would think it is. (via Dealbreaker, via NYPost

Sample Lyrics

We trade stocks and we do it well/
our first trade was 100,000 warrants of Intel/
That was when we had 300 million/
but now - we manage 5 billion!/
at first I thought he was joking/
but that changed when the stock market opened/
because these guys knew all the terminology/
buying healthcare and blocks of technology/
Cisco and Sun, boy would they pound’em/
buying on fundamentals and then trade around ‘em/

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Oct 15
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Helpful tip:  Financial products sales people do not really “get it” when you advise them to take sales tips from  Mystery (the “Pick-up Artist”, pictured).  You kind of get confusion and vague hostility in return.

Helpful tip: Financial products sales people do not really “get it” when you advise them to take sales tips from Mystery (the “Pick-up Artist”, pictured). You kind of get confusion and vague hostility in return.

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Oct 14
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GPOYW

GPOYW

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Oct 12
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perpetua:

Michael Jackson scarecrow in Long Island City, photo by Todd. Here’s another shot. Please note the presence of “Ben.”

reblogging just cuz it’s mine and MP got to it before i had a change to

perpetua:

Michael Jackson scarecrow in Long Island City, photo by Todd. Here’s another shot. Please note the presence of “Ben.”
reblogging just cuz it’s mine and MP got to it before i had a change to
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Selections from Theodore Rex (1995). This film stars Whoopi Goldberg, who plays a futuristic cop with a dinosaur for a partner.

(Ellen Page mentioned this on Conan last week)

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Oct 09
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People are always asking me: “Todd, why are you so awesome at the Internet?” Today I’m going to offer you a hot tip: whenever you are watching a youtube video (like the giant puppets invading Berlin, linked below), always make sure to at least skim the “related videos”, because you might find something amazing, weird, disturbing or hilarious.

Something like this amateur CGI video of a Giantess in a bikini looming a cityscape, perhaps. And the genre to which it belongs. You can skim this video for a taste, if only for the part where the POV camera starts beating a guy with a crowbar and throwing grenades at the giantess’s head. I was laughing so hard I cried.

Note: probably NSFW, unless you want to be the person watching a pneumatic 3D babe in Bikini, stockings and heels stick her ass out Also please note the creator’s comment on one of his *other* giantess videos: “Here’s another clip I made. The girls actually wear something, so this shouldn’t be deleted like one of my recent clips, sorry youtube “

However, you do have to beware of danger when following this advice. While doggedly following this TubeHole to it’s bitter end, I stumbled on this, which is arguably more amazing and disturbing since it is LIVE ACTION and features a sub-Power Rangers city being smashed up by a young lady in superman underoos (more or less). I also can’t resist linking to this one, which made me realize that the dudes who produce these videos (and there seem to be LOT relative to the sub 30K views they receive) must just glue their model buildings back together again after paying to have chicks punch, kick, stomp, bite and sit on them (the model buildings, not the guys. or not on camera, at least). I am guessing there was an erotically charged sandcastle smashing in their childhoods, and in those of the commenters, who often express their desire to be EATEN ALIVE by these giant ladies. (wikipedia: macrophilia)

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Here is some video of some giant French marionettes attacking Berlin last week. CREEPTASTIC AND AWESOME. photo set on Boston.com

Many more videos on this site, but I can’t figure out how to embed

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Oct 08
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Look at this fucking jerk. (via Photoshop Disasters)

Look at this fucking jerk. (via Photoshop Disasters)

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Co-worker: “How’re you doing Todd? You look like you are about to nod off”
Todd: “Yeah, you know, I ordered that coffee with heroin in it” (holds up coffee he had just retrieved from downstairs)
(silence from all surrounding coworkers)
Todd: “Um, inappropriate joke?”

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Yr Tube Dude of the Day

As opposed to Australian Tube Dudes, Italian Tube Dudes might actually be missing a chromosome. Even more retarded and unpleasant than the Jesus tube dude. Also: “pupazzo k saluta cm uno scemo!”

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Yr Tube Dude of the Day

Tube Dudes enjoy beer in Australia. Okay this is CGI. Australia seems to have eclipsed North America in terms of tube dude technology.

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Oct 07
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Yr Tube Dude of the Day

“i am dancin where you can see me” - “an experimental film about my fascination with sky dancers and what lies behind their smiles”

get ready for somnolent psych noodling and lots and lots of aftereffects!

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Oct 06
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Courtney Love and Hugo Chavez.  My brain just melted.

Courtney Love and Hugo Chavez. My brain just melted.

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Yr Tube Dude of the Day

“David Schwimmer skydancer dancing inflatable”

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